Going to Sleep (end)

One thing I could never stand is someone in a position of authority, desperate for control, taking advantage of people. And this, my friends, is where one of my tragic flaws, acting without thought, took a hold. The police arrived and were being rude, and very menacing. They held a grudge against every single person left in the apartment, even though they knew that no one there had a part in it. It was intolerable. I started acting up, running circles around the pigs mind, and throwing comments that were meant nothing more but to belittle him. Towards the end I felt sorry for the guy but my dislike for his lack of consideration took a hold of me, and I myself became inconsiderate. Melissa was getting angry. It did not click in my head that she would be the one to pay for my actions. Once I reached the limit I stopped, but the cop kept on going. He knew he had me in an unmovable place and used his authority to undermine my way of thinking. I gave it up, swallowed my pride (whatever that means) and retired. The owners of the apartment however were left to deal with angry swine. Despite her anger Melissa displayed one of her unique qualities, courage. She went outside and cooled the situation with the cops, and then returned, relieved that nothing had happened but angry that something could have potentially happened to her. I put her and my future in jeopardy. The thought of that was disturbing. Guilt flooded my mind and with one into her eyes I knew that there was a bit of tension.

Gerald showed up. Time had cured him and Diana. But a short moment of time had jeopardized me and Melissa's friendship. Time is life’s greatest cure. But every second that hurts requires a century to fix. It is a slow acting remedy. Diana and Gerald’s time had come, mine and Melissa’s was far beyond sight.

In striking contrast to the night before, I went home. People came over and were drinking and Rushing the night away. The music was blasting and the sun was peaking over the horizon. They were having a blast; I was no where near their level of excitement. I got even more frustrated when Dickweed, one of the people there, crossed out Melissa’s name from our wall and wrote “die” under it. That was the last thing she deserved that night so I made him white it out. He did a shitty job and I finished it. Angrily I went to bed.

The comfort which slid me to sleep the night before was so desperately needed but definitely not present. I enjoy mental pain, it makes me stronger and allows me to cope with similar situations more easily, but this was torture. Alcohol tends to bring out a very depressive person in you. It changes your way of thinking, you blame things on yourself and act without thinking. It also keeps you awake and makes you drowning your discomfort. This, in addition to the ruthless sun was more than a match for me. I knew the only way out was to sleep. But sleep was nowhere to be found. The pounding music, the sun, and thinking about the events of the night had driven it away. Every second felt like an eternity and I was trapped in the middle of discomfort.

Human beings, despite some belief, are interconnected. Every action done has some effect on everyone else good or bad, whether you like it or not. If there is anything to be learned from this story it’s that. Watch what you do. Think before you act. Time is limited, and though it is a remedy, there might not be enough of it left to cure you.

-Spring '03